The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
