Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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