i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i dont even know how to be here
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize