Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
