And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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