I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
