the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
