if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
