You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
