Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
