break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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