doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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