Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
