Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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