He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
