ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
