hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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