no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
