Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
