I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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