ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
