Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The beer is more important than you right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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