Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
