Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she peed on how many people?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
