She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
