He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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