just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
