The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
