I think I died a long time ago.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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