Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
