I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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