She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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