random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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