didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
