What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
