Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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