the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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