Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
