can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
