I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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