# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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