mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
