Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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