finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
