I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
