Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
