Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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