i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm like, not good at living.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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