i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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