New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
