Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
