Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
