Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
