The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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