Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
