If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
