can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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