thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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