So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
