does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
