Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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