I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
