Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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