Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
