I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
