Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
