I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
