So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
